Powder
by SwashSwashBuckleBuckle
Summary: Song-fic to Yellowcard's song "Powder". About Charlie. duh. BTW I wrote this BEFORE the episode when Charlie quits.


Disclaimer-I don't own anything related to 'Lost' or YellowCard's song "Powder"  
  
I was listening to this song and then started thinking about this show. Why? no idea. I just wrote this all of of the top of my head, so it's not the best. reviews are appreciated!  
  
Words in Italics are the song lyrics.

* * *

_Lying soaked in sweat tonight  
Your knuckles white  
You try to fight  
The need for more to get you by  
_  
Charlie stared at the chaos around him. He was getting twitchy. He couldn't handle it anymore. He had to slip away. "They won't notice will they? No they won't..." He carefully got up and walked into the jungle. He walked far enough in to make sure no one could see him from the beach. Turning around cautiously, he checked to see if anyone had followed him. Thankfully, he saw no one. 

He dropped to his knees and took out the bag. He dumped a fair amount in his hand, and stared at it.  
  
_You've had enough  
You wonder why  
Even now your body cries  
For chemicals to blind your eyes  
I wonder can you stay this high  
When the cells begin to die, forever  
  
_" Why did I get into this?" he asked himself. He started to remember the day he first tried it.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Come on man just do it! It won't kill you!" Aaron said.  
  
He wanted to do it, but he didn't want to. He had heard horror stories about people getting addicted to it and becoming broke just so they could stay high. Was being in this band worth it? Was taking this worth the risk of his life?  
  
"It's not I'm going to become addicted." He told himself. "I'll just try it. What if this band does make it? I don't want to NOT try it and be sitting on my ass at home and see that they did. Then I would regret it for the rest of my life that I didn't do this."  
  
With that he took the bag from Aaron, and he did it. He took it.  
  
"You are in man! This is gonna be great!" Aaron said.  
  
"It was totally worth it." Charlie thought.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
_Crush it up, crush it up  
Take it down, take it down  
Smash it up, smash it up  
Falling down  
_  
For the next 2 years, that's what Charlie did. Played in the band and got high. Not like he remembered what had happened most of those 2 years. Except for when he had met Jenna...or rather, lost Jenna.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Come on Jenna! Don't go! I'll change! I'll do anything! Please don't go!!" Charlie pleaded with his girlfriend. But right now he wasn't to sure if they were even together anymore.  
  
"No Charlie! I've been with you for almost 1 year and things were going great! I thought you were the one! But this?! Charlie I cant be with someone who does this! I'm not going to sit around and watch your life fall apart! I'm sorry but it's over." She said, tears staining her cheeks.  
  
_Swallowed like the medicine  
That's broken down my happy friend  
I wonder if he'll let me in  
If I come to see him when he's better  
_  
"Jenna no! I will change! I'll stop! I sware! Just give me another chance please!!" He begged her.  
  
"NO! I thought I could trust you! But, just no Charlie." She said. Then she opened the door and was gone. Just like that.  
  
_Crush it up, crush it up  
Take it down, take it down  
Smash it up, smash it up  
Falling down  
  
There's power in the powder  
Dissolving in your guts...  
_  
He walked back to his room and found the bag. He looked at it and almost thought about throwing it out. But she was gone. He didn't have to change. He pored it into his hand and downed it.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Tears came to his chocolate brown eyes as he recalled the incident. He had watched the only girl he had ever loved, walk right out of his life. No matter how much it had hurt him, he still took the damn stuff.  
  
"I think it's time I finally changed" he said. With that, he dumped any remaining contents on the ground and walked out of the jungle.  
  
He saw Claire trying to move a huge suitcase to a new location.  
  
"Can I help you with anything Claire?" He asked her.  
  
"Sure." She said smiling.  
  
"It was defiantly time for a change." He thought to himself.


End file.
